Ripped Apart
by ProLazy
Summary: Prompt: Non-Con (Kissing). When Dean walks into his office and sees Castiel kissing their boss he jumps to the obvious conclusion. It takes years for them to meet again, and for Castiel to have the chance to explain he didn't have a choice.
"Good morning, Mr Winchester."

Dean looked up from his laptop with pleased smirk. His secretary walked over and placed the required files for the day on Dean's desk.

"It is indeed" Dean replied with a grin. "Although, I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, my boyfriend would just not stop snoring."

His secretary frowned. "I'm sure that's not true."

Dean raised his eyebrow.

"Cas, I know that you want to keep it professional when we're at work but pretending you don't have a snoring problem is not good for anyone...well, mostly me."

Castiel sighed and rolled his eyes.

"It's only when I sleep on my back."

"Great, then we'll just have to spoon more" Dean reasoned.

"That sounds feasible" Castiel replied. "Will that be all, Mr Winchester?"

Dean laughed and leaned back in his chair. "C'mon, you can at least cut the Mr Winchester crap."

"What would you prefer? Mr Darcy?"

Dean looked pensive. "How about...Admiral Awesome?"

"No" Castiel replied flatly before walking to the door.

"Hey!" Dean called out. Castiel turned back to him with an expectant expression. "There was something else" Dean said with a pout.

"Sorry, I almost forgot" Castiel said as he walked back over to Dean.

He leaned across the desk and Dean cupped Castiel's cheeks as their lips met in a passionate kiss; their morning kiss was the one thing that slipped through their 'professional' policy.

Castiel pulled away first.

"I have your appointments to make and you have a meeting in five."

Dean groaned. "Great." He smiled at Castiel softly. "What would I do without you?"

"It's best not to think about it" Castiel quipped.

Dean watched with a longing stare as he left.

He and Castiel had met three months ago after Dean's promotion permitted him to hire an assistant. As soon as the beautiful and intelligent Castiel Novak had sat down in front of him for the interview Dean had known he was the one, and not just for getting the job done.

After a while of shared teases and flirting Dean had asked if Castiel wanted to be more than colleagues, and they had been dating two months since. It was a short period of time, but Dean was sure that he was in love with Castiel, and he believed that Castiel felt the same about him.

Dean was sure he'd never feel the same way about anyone again.

* * *

"Hey, are you ready to head to my place?" Dean asked Castiel at the end of the day.

"I just need to finish proofing this document" Castiel said. He was still at his desk staring at his computer screen.

"Cas, I know you hate it when I bring this up, but I am still your boss. If I say you can quit, you can quit."

"I know but it's right here and it's almost done" Castiel said. "You go ahead and start cooking I'll be there in a half hour at the most."

"Mmm, yes sir" Dean said as leaned down to kiss his lover. "Maybe I'm not the boss after all?"

"I think we've both known that for a while now" Castiel replied seriously.

"Oh, well we'll see about that when I fire you for being cocky."

"You wouldn't dare."

"You're right. I wouldn't" Dean said with a smirk. "I'll see you soon."

He pressed his lips to the top of Castiel's head before going to the elevators, smiling the whole way.

Dean didn't remember the last time he'd felt so elated and like he could conquer anything. Maybe tonight would be the night? The night that Dean told Castiel for the first time that he loved him. Yes, he would cook them a romantic meal with a little candlelight and it would be perfect.

Much to Dean's annoyance as soon as he got to his car and rummaged around in his pockets he discovered that he'd left his keys in his office.

After a few choice curse words Dean headed back into Sandover Inc.

He was surprised to find that Castiel wasn't at his desk, but then Dean saw his own office light was on; Cas must have gone in to get something.

He walked to the door, and what Dean saw made his blood run cold.

Castiel was sat back on Dean's desk with their boss, Mr Adler, leaned over him. They appeared to be kissing profusely, with Castiel gripping tightly onto Adler's wrist.

Castiel broke away breathing heavily, and over Adler's shoulder, he saw Dean staring at him as if his whole world has just shattered.

"Dean" he said shakily.

"You bastard" Dean whispered. "You bastard!" He yelled before storming out of the room.

"Dean!" Castiel called desperately, but he was ignored.

Dean's head was spinning as he reached the staircase. He had to stop and grip the banister as he ran a trembling hand through his hair. This all had to be some kind of horrible nightmare.

"Dean!" Castiel suddenly appeared, tears streaming down his face and quivering like a leaf. "Please, just let me explain-"

"I loved you!" Dean shouted. "I was going to tell you that I loved you!"

"I love you too" Castiel sobbed.

"Clearly not!" Dean said gesturing wildly to his office door. Adler was yet to appear. "Seriously?! _Our_ _boss_ , in _my_ _office_?!"

"Dean, you're not letting me talk!" Castiel tried to yell above him, expressing his own anger.

"Because I don't want to hear it, Cas!" Dean retaliated. "I know what I saw! How could you do this?"

"Dean, I tried to fight him" Castiel said meekly again.

"How long has this been going on?" Dean asked. "How long?!" He repeated when Castiel didn't say a word. The smaller man flinched violently.

"Dean, please..."

Dean turned away and scrubbed his hands down his face.

"It's my own fault" Dean said, his voice breaking as tears appeared on his cheeks. "I was dumb enough to believe that someone could care about me. That the stupid flirting could mean anything."

"Dean, don't you dare blame yourself for this" Castiel said seriously.

"No, there's something wrong with me. You know how I've been ripped apart by people destroying my trust in the past" Dean said. "I never thought you'd be one too."

"Dean" was all Castiel could say with a sob as he was on the verge of a breakdown.

"No, Cas. I don't want to see you again" Dean said. "Don't worry, I won't fire you. I quit."

With that he turned and started to head down the stairs. He heard Castiel collapse to his knees as he cried, and it took all of Dean's strength to not turn back.

He couldn't go through the hurt. So he allowed his own tears to falls silently until he got outside and then he let his weeping be known.

It was all over.

* * *

The day after the incident Dean had sent in his resignation. He knew if he had gone to face Adler he wouldn't have been able to control himself and it would probably have resulted in a trip to jail.

Castiel had been blowing up Dean's phone with texts and calls, but he didn't dare to show up at Dean's apartment.

Every other fibre of Dean's being told him to reply, to hear Castiel out, but it heart seemed to reject the idea completely.

For days afterwards Dean barely ate or slept. He couldn't think about anything but Castiel and the life he'd dreamed they would have shared together.

Eventually Castiel finally stopped trying to contact him; he'd either gotten the message or just become bored.

Weeks later and Dean knew he had to pull himself together. He had to find a new job for a start.

It would be a long and painful process, but Dean had to get over Castiel.

* * *

Five years passed.

Dean had found a new job easily given his expertise, but he hadn't formed another serious relationship. There had been flings and one night stands, but none of them were Castiel.

The day started like any other, Dean was heading to his favourite coffee shop for his morning 'pick me up' before going to work.

It was a normal enough occurrence; Dean was looking at his phone and accidentally bumped into someone's shoulder.

"Sorry!" They both spoke at the same time, before turning to each other.

Dean's eyes widened.

"Castiel?"

The other man really hadn't changed that much, but Dean just couldn't believe who he was seeing.

"Hello, Dean" Castiel said quietly. "I-it's nice to see you again."

"You too" Dean replied despite himself. He had often wondered what happened to Castiel.

"How, h-how have you been?" Castiel asked nervously.

Dean sighed. "Cas, we can't do this, like we're just long lost friends."

"Well, I-I believe in fate" Castiel said. "A-and I think I still owe you an explanation."

"I don't know" Dean replied. "It took me so long to get over you..."

He looked into Castiel's eyes and saw the same amount of anguish as he had five years ago. Maybe it swans time.

"Okay."

"He...he forced me to" Castiel said.

Dean frowned. "What?"

"Adler" Castiel said quietly. "The night you...he forced himself on me. I didn't want him, of course I didn't. I was in love with you" he said seriously. "He...he abused me."

Dean felt like he was going to be sick.

* * *

They managed to walk to a park bench in a tense silence. Dean was moving almost robotically as he sat beside Castiel.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Dean said after he tried and failed to process everything. "How could..? I said all those awful things to you, I left you...and you didn't say anything."

"I thought you hated me. That you were well and truly disgusted with me" Castiel replied. He bowed his head. "I was disgusted with me."

As Dean thought back things suddenly seemed a lot clearer. They way Adler had had Castiel pushed against the desk, domineering over him. The way Castiel had been holding the man's wrists to stop Adler from touching him, the way he has broken away so frantically.

"Please don't ever think that again. It wasn't your fault" Dean said firmly as he took hold of Castiel's hand without thought. "You should hate me. You were being hurt and...I didn't even see it. I wouldn't even listen to you. I made it all about me."

"Dean, I didn't want you to blame yourself then and I don't want you to now" Castiel said sincerely. "It was no one's fault but Adler's."

Dean's eyes widened as he had a sudden horrible thought.

"Cas, please tell me you don't still work for-"

"No" Castiel said shaking his head. "When he started trying to contact me at home I managed to get a restraining order. He got fired, but of course I couldn't stay there after everything so I left and got another job."

There was one other question Dean really needed to ask, but he wasn't sure how.

"D-did...did he..?"

"No, he didn't rape me" Castiel said for him. "I was strong enough to prevent that at least."

"God, Cas" Dean said, his voice thick with emotion as squeezed the smaller man's hand. "I'm so sorry." Now he especially wished he had gone to punch Adler's lights out; prison would have been worth it.

"Don't be" Castiel said with a small smile which was obviously forced. "It was a long time ago now...It's fine...I'm fine." He didn't sound very convinced.

"Cas, if you need to talk about it then do" Dean encouraged. "If you need help then just tell me. I know it's too late now, but...I will do my damn best to take care of you if that's what you need."

"That's sweet of you, but I try not to think about it" Castiel replied. "So, what's been happening with you?" He asked in a desperate attempt to change the subject. "Have you...met someone?"

"No" Dean said. "There was never anyone else...it was always you. It is you."

"I haven't been able to find anyone else either" Castiel said. "Not because of what Adler did...although that did shake me for a while. It was just...none of them made me feel as happy as you did."

There were a few moments of tense silence as both men pondered each other's statements.

"Cas..." Dean suddenly said seriously. "You can hit me if you think this is wildly inappropriate but...do you want to have dinner sometime?"

Castiel sighed. "Dean, I don't want you to ask me out just because you feel bad now. I don't want your pity, and you did break my heart. I was so hurt that you could ever think that I would cheat on you-"

"No!" Dean quickly interrupted. "It's because I've missed you...God Cas I've missed you so much. I know that I must have hurt you and I would try to make it up to you for the rest of my life. And I was the biggest asshole for ever thinking you would be capable of doing that to anyone. You are the kindest, smartest, most caring, and most beautiful person that I've ever met, Castiel. I'd get on my knees beg for forgiveness but...this is completely your decision."

A smile twitched up on Castiel's lips and this time it was genuine.

"Yes, we can have dinner" he said. "But let's not just try to make up for lost time. Let's take it slow."

"Yes, Absolutely" Dean said with a vigorous nod. "You set boundaries and everything and I'll just-"

He was caught off guard when Cas pressed his lips to Dean's. It was brief, but filled with raw emotion.

"Are you saying that I'm the boss, Mr Winchester?" Castiel quipped.

Dean smiled at him. "I sure am."

It was a brief glimpse of how they use to be, but it filled Dean with hope.

He pulled Castiel into a tight hug, and he felt the smaller man sag against him with relief.

"I won't let anyone hurt you like that again" he promised. "Including me."

"I know" Castiel said as he closed his eyes in an attempt to hide his tears.

They were bittersweet; he was happy to have Dean back in his life, but it would take some time to get back to how things use to be.

Dean pressed his nose into Castiel's hair as he fought his own urge to sob.

He of course would be consumed with guilt for some time and he would make it up to Castiel somehow, by taking care of him and always making sure he felt comfortable and safe.

Importantly, though, the love between the two men was still evidently there.

They would be together again.


End file.
